Anger means a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility 

Ephesians 4 26-32

Be angry and do not sin; let not the sun go down upon your wrath, neither give place to the devil; whoso is stealing let him no more steal, but rather let him labour, working the thing that is good with the hands, that he may have to impart to him having need. Let no corrupt word out of your mouth go forth, but what is good unto the needful building up, that it may give grace to the hearers; and make not sorrowful the Holy Spirit of God, in which ye were sealed to a day of redemption.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil-speaking, be put away from you, with all malice, and become one to another kind, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, according as also God in Christ did forgive you.

My synopsis of what it means to be angry and do not sin.

1. Do not let anger dwell and grow. Respond when something is occurring
2. Do not say mean or hateful things; but say what is necessary to build someone up or to set them in the right direction
3. Do no act with bitterness or with a desire to harm the other person. Be kind and forgiving.

So let’s look at the perfect life to decide about anger.

First Jesus and the Pharisees:

Mark 3:3-7

 And he entered again into the synagogue; and there was a man there which had a withered hand.And they watched him, whether he would heal him on the sabbath day; that they might accuse him.

 And he saith unto the man which had the withered hand, Stand forth. And he saith unto them, Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath days, or to do evil? to save life, or to kill? But they held their peace.

 And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other. And the Pharisees went forth, and straightway took counsel with the Herodians against him, how they might destroy him.

Jesus is angry and grieves for the Pharisees because they have no love in them. They desire to “get Jesus” more than they desire for a man to be healed. By asking a question, he points out their mistake. They know he understood their hearts and their intent and though he does not go at them directly they become angry and plot to get him.

But Jesus was angry and did not sin.

1. He responded in the moment. He set and brood about what these men are doing.
2. B) He uses moral and biblical questions to allow the men to realize they are wrong on their own without beraiding them in pubic.
3. C) Jesus desire is for the Pharisees to see the error. While they desired to harm him, Jesus wants them to see that are focused on the wrong thing.

Another example:

Matthew 21:12 -13
And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

Here anger had a little more hostility involved.

A little background. The people were required to have sacrifices deemed perfect. The priests and the merchants had set up a business deal. The only money that could be used was temple money and they charged a rate of exchange. The sacrifices brought by people close by were never “perfect enough” and most people could not bring the sacrifice with them since they had to travel. These people were taking advantage of the poor who desired to follow the will of God.

Lets look at the test

1. Do not let anger dwell and grow. Respond when something is occurring –Jesus responds when he comes upon the situation.
2. Do not say mean or hateful things; but say what is necessary to build someone up or to set them in the right direction—The situation we have here is religious people stealing from those who are poor and have come to worship. Jesus words are strong and you could argue hurtful, but they are said to people who know they are doing wrong and powerful people who are harming those who cannot protect themselves. He clearly states why what they are doing is wrong.
3. Do no act with bitterness or with a desire to harm the other person. Be kind and forgiving. He stops their behavior and then moves on.

The first example is clear, the second example is much more difficult to determine when you are angry and not sinning. Anger that protects those who cannot protect themselves appears just, but I caution that as a human I do not know when it is appropriate. I know Jesus never sinned and this is an example of “ Be Angry and Do Not Sin”.

I am not capable of knowing when to act or how to act without the direction of the Holy Spirit.  We need to slow down the minute anger arrives and ask God to guide us with His Spirit.  We do not wait for days and then pounce, but we should pray and ask the spirit to direct our words and acts.

I personally am more likely to be angry for selfish reasons and to act in unchristian ways.  I even can find myself proud of the harm I cause when I act in anger.  I am not capable of responding properly when anger is involved.  I have to have guidance. Anger needs to come with a warning label.

Caution Anger Present: Pray before Acting and Handle only with Holy Spirit supervision

Action
Document a time you believe you acted in anger but did not sin.

Apply the test and evaluate if you still think your actions were appropriate.

Document times you know you acted in anger and it was sin.

Journal
Write a prayer confessing those times you acted in anger and did sin.
Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you the next time a situation makes you angry.

I read through the list of words associated with makrothymeō and the slow to anger hit a nerve.  I saw the words and knew I needed to explore this deeper.  

Let’s look at two Scenarios

Example 1

A microscopic invader slipped into the soft flesh of the oyster. The mollusk releases a secretion of calcium carbonate that covers the irritant. Over and over the secretion is released until a small ball forms.   The oyster creates a pearl from the grain of irritation— an objected valued for its beauty and rareness.

Example 2

Microscopic grains collect in the air. Particle after particle accumulates in a building.  The potential for dangers grows. A spark or the slightest ignition source and the result is an explosion which destroys every thing in the area. Those grains which individually can barely be seen together act like a bomb of mighty proportions.

People deal with anger in similar ways I think.

• The hot tempered ones who blow up over a situation.  They fire off with anger.  Words are said.  They pop off like a firecracker.

• The slow boiling ones who collect all the wrongs until the moment when they explode as if a bomb detonated.

• Those who recognize the irritation and take appropriate protective behaviors to reduce anger and the sources of pain.

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you          Matthew 5:44

Ignoring the hurt is not the best method for “slow to anger”.

The pearl approach is the right approach.

Go to God.  Place the issue before the Lord.  Pray for the people who are causing you anger.

Focus on their wellbeing.  (You cannot do that on your own.) Take the irritation to God where he can build a hard seal around it.  He will take the irritation and create something beautiful out of it.

Do not try this on your own.  When we collect the little irritations and do not deal with the hurt, an explosive environment builds just waiting for a source of ignition.

Journal

How do you handle anger?

I am a slow to anger type. I allow all the hurts to build, but when I blow, I blow. And every hurt is thrown out and at the person. No slight to small for me not to recall and bring it up.

The first step in letting go is not ignoring the issue but recognizing it and giving it to God.

List hurts that you have experienced; write them down. Now write a prayer explaining what has hurt you. Seek God’s cover for your pain. Pray sincerely for the person.  Ask the Lord to resolve issues this person my have.  Request blessings for this person.  Seek the Lord’s guidance in how to deal with the situation.  Ask him to create a pearl.

Tomorrow, when is anger the right response?

Funny what you remember.  Years and years, and yes years ago a Sunday school teacher said never pray for patience.  This I remembered.  She said when you pray for patience God teaches you by placing trails in your life.

Yet Jesus commanded us to love and part of that love according to Paul is a Greek word makrothymeō.   

Strong’s Blue Letter Bible http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G3114&t=KJV   states this word can have the following meanings:

to be of a long spirit, not to lose heart; to persevere patiently and bravely in enduring misfortunes and troubles; to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others; to be mild and slow in avenging; to be long-suffering, slow to anger, slow to punish

Jesus is patient with us; he endured misfortune and troubles for us.  Jesus told us to love others as He loved us.  We must learn to be people of patience.

I think of Peter when I think of Jesus showing patience.  I love Peter because he so often got it wrong but Jesus never gave up on him.

Look at the incident of Peter walking on the water.

29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.

30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.

33 Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

There is Peter walking on the water yet he gets afraid and starts sinking.  But Jesus doesn’t just let him sink or say fine swim for it.  No he stretched out his hand and caught him.

Again with Peter, look at how even though he claimed he would never betray Christ; on the night when Jesus is taken, Peter denies him three times. I think I would be inclined to give up on Peter. I would feel betrayed.  I would be angry.  I would feel justified and all righteous in my frustration with Peter.  I know I get that way with people who let me down in my life.  People who some how don’t live up to my standard of how a Christian should live.  But I am so grateful that Jesus doesn’t give up on me when I fall so short of who I am suppose to be in Him.

My Sunday school teacher was wrong.  We will face people letting us down, people hurting us, people acting in a manner they should not because that is just what people do.  Jesus commands us to love as He loved us.  We must ask Him to teach us how to be patient with people who fall short of our hopes for them.  Forgive the people who let us down.  If we love Jesus this is what He asks of us.

Journal

Write a prayer asking God for patience. Ask Him to help you to let go of when people let us down. Write down the times you know you have not been patient and ask him to forgive your impatience. List the times Jesus has been patient with you. The times you looked away and started sinking. The times you swore you would never deny him and then said “I don’t know the man”. Ask for forgiveness and thank Him for his patience. Ask specifically how you can show patience to the person God gave you to practice Agape on.

Activity

Watch for times when you can show patience.  When you feel yourself being disappointed or frustrated do not react.  Separate from the situation and place the situation on the altar before Jesus.  Ask Him how to show patience so that it provides a learning experience for the person involve.

When we say love we think of romantic love or the surface love we feel for friends. The Greeks used the word Agape for a special level of love–the highest standard of love.

1 Corinthians 13 lays out just what is expected when we say Agape.

Paul describes this loves by stating what Agape does not do and what Agape does.

Does not:

3) Does not envy

4) Does not boast

5) Not proud

6) Does not dishonor others

7) Not self seeking

8) Not easily angered

9) Keeps no record of wrongs

10) Does not delight in evil

But Is/Does

1) Patient

2) Kind

11) Rejoices in truth

12) Always protects

13) Always trusts

14) Always hopes

15) Always perseveres

Journal

Write a prayer. Ask God to show you where you need to allow Him to change your heart and your actions. Ask him to open your mind to where your love falls short of Agape. Confess to God any walls or inhibitions you have at looking at yourself in regard to Agape love.

Actvity:

On a scale of 1-5 where 1 equals “this is a problem for me” and 5 means “I can honestly say this describes me” give a rating to each of the characteristics of Agape Love. You get to be honest here. It is between you and God.

We will go over each one in detail later, but for today just think about the words in general.

Example:

Patience: I am a 2 on this one. (I maybe grading myself higher than I deserve on this one) I loose my patience with people and with myself. The frustration that swells in me causes any of the positive agape traits I may posses to swiftly go away.

Document in your Journal your answer to each of the components of Agape Love.

Daily Check Up

Are you praying God will show you how to give Agape Love to the person He gave you for this lesson? Are you asking God to love this person through you just as He has loved you?

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all mind.

Jesus says this is the most important commandment.

When God means everything to you, when you love him more than anything else in your life then He can use you to serve others.  We say we love God, but is He honestly first in our lives.  We tend to think about God’s love for us.  “God give me what I want.” or “God will understand” or “God would want me happy”.  We spend much less time asking what does God want.  Will I understand if God does not give me what I want?   Will I live a life that brings honor to God even if it means I cannot do the things I want to do?

We know we have moved in the correct direction when our thoughts seek God’s desire.  Do we long to make Him happy?  Think about it.

Heart:     Who is your first love?  Where are your priorities?  Do you find yourself pushing God aside for other people and things?

Mind:     Do you meditate on God’s word?  Are your thoughts centered on God or on the distractions of the world?

Soul:   Is your spirit one with the Holy Spirit?  When a decision arises do you seek direction from Christ?  Do you seek to be one with Christ through the Spirit–like the vine and branch? Are you walking through the day with Him as your guide.

Journal

Do you have the kind of relationship with Christ that can be described as with all you heart, soul and mind?  How would you describe your day-to-day relationship with God?

Agape Love requires you to be willing to follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance. You must love God more than the pleasures and comforts of this world.

Activity

Read Matthew 19:16-29 The story of the rich young ruler.  In this story, Jesus asks the young man to sell all he has, give the money to the poor and to follow Jesus.

Evaluate your day look back over the last few hours from memory or keep a log if you are the sort who needs accurate data.
What are your highest priorities in your life?

When two or three conflicts occur who or what typically wins your time, or resources?

How often during the day do you think about God, talk to God, evaluate what God would want you to do in a specific situation?

The day-to-day decisions do you ask God to show you what you should do?

Try walking with God for just one hour talking to Him about everything you encounter in a one hour period.

I can’t love the way Christ wants me to love.  I try and I can’t do it.

Do you know what it is like to want to love the way Jesus said, but to find yourself always ending up angry or hurt?  I think I equate making donations or paying for things as love.  Then people take advantage of me and anger grows, resentment takes root.  It’s not pleasant.

I pull away and close the purse.  I feel frustrated that some people seem to always have their hands out.  But even when I give them something it is out of duty and not out of love.

You see, I think about James 2:15 and 16 and I assume Jesus expects me to help them.  I mean James tells us if we see our Christian brother or sister in trouble wearing torn up cloths and lacking food that we should help.  He asks what good does it do to say keep warm and full, but to do nothing to help. So I give in and help, but it is not out of love it is out of duty.

I look at the negative list in Paul’s definition of love in first Corinthians 13 and I recognize myself.  I know the right words and what I am suppose to say, but I am not sure I really mean them all the time.  My words sound loving and kind but the emotion inside, the one hidden beneath my façade, is much more complex.

Paul says if we give up everything we have including ourselves, but don’t do it with love then we have nothing. Which brings me back to realizing that while I desire to love others as Christ has asked me to love I cannot do so under my own strength.

Galatians 5:22 tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is Love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance

The fruit of the Spirit means God working through us.   God can love with Agape love; I cannot, but the Spirit when I become one with Christ can love others with Agape through me.

I know I am moving through verses today, but I think Jesus in John 15 told us how we could move from people who are incapable of love to people who produce the fruit of Agape.

Jesus said He was the vine and we are the branches.  We can only bear fruit by dwelling in Jesus and by his dwelling in us. We are to live united to him.  Jesus words must become part of us. But it is more than knowing scripture.  It is about staying connected to Jesus throughout our day.

 Journal

Write a prayer to Jesus asking him to draw you closer to him.  Ask him to show you how to live in Him and how to be aware of His living in you.  Ask him to teach you how to love with Agape love.  Admit you are not capable of this type of love on your own.  Ask Him to prune what is not productive.

Also ask Him to give the name of one person (think lab rat) for you to practice allowing him to love through you.

Activity

Make a list of everyone in your life that it is difficult to love or even like at times. Write the names of people who are close to you and people who are on the edges of your life. Even a person you fight with on Facebook. Maybe someone you avoid in real life or on Facebook.   Or someone who avoids you. Make the list of everyone you can think of.

Now pray over each person and ask God to show you the person to choose. If you cannot determine which person to select, place all names in a hat and ask God to pick the person He wants to love through you.

Jesus when asked what the most important commandment was said.

Matthew 22:37 “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

And Jesus said if you love him than

John 15: 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

And John tells us in his first letter

1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

This 28 Day Challenge is for Christians, those who have accepted the sacrifice of Christ and have asked Him to be Lord of their lives. We love God because He first loved us and what He asks from us is that we love others as he loved us.

Journal

Are you a Christian? Have you asked Christ for forgiveness of your sins and to be Lord of your life? If not you can do so now. It is not complicated, but you have to be sincere. Christianity is about faith or trust. You trust that Christ’s sacrifice removes your sin, you trust that Christ loves you and that He will guide you through the Holy Spirit.
Write a statement of commitment that for the next 28 days you will be open to God filling you with His love for others.

Activity

Keep a small notebook with you during the next 28 days. As you interact with people who you know are Christians, do you see examples of Christian love? Make a quick note of what you see.  Not about judging them, but forcing you to look at love without your self defenses in place.

Also note moments when you could have shown Christ’s love but didn’t.  Try to do this without defending your decision.

Join me in a beginner’s fitness course in love. Not the ooey gooey bubble gum love of a crush. Not romantic fluttery type of love. I am not even talking about the love of a mom who is totally responsible for the well being of a newborn baby. Nope.

My challenge is to grow stronger in the one-way Jesus specifically asked me to grow if I loved Him. I plan to study what the bible has to say about agape love translated originally in Latin as caritas (preciousness, dearness, high price).

Just remember, according to 1 Cor 13 if you can speak with all the languages of men and angels, but do not have Caritas then you sound like a big brass gong. Loud and jarring. Or if you can teach and you understand the greatest mysteries and you know just about everything and you actually have enough faith to move a mountain but you do not have charitas you are nothing.

If you take everything you have and give it to feed the poor or you are willing to sacrifice your body to the flames but don’t have charitas then it means nothing.

Each day I will look at what the bible says about the love Christ expects from me. There will be questions for journaling or meditation. And on most days there will be challenges (actions) to start getting me into the habit of acting on what I read.

I hope you will come along with me as I dig deeper into this type of love Jesus said we should practice if we love him.

Theme Love

His Love Endures Forever                               Tommy Walker and the C.A. Worship Band

Until the Whole World Hears                             Casting Crowns

Father I Adore You                                          Matt Brouwer

You Are My King (Amazing Love)                     Newsboys

Take My Life (and Let It Be)                             Chris Tomlin

Here I Am Again                                              Matt Brouwer

Perfect People                                                 Natalie Grant

My Own Little World                                         Matthew West

Love You So Much                                           Hillsong

You Are Being Loved                                        Steven Curtis Chapman

Children of God                                                Steven Curtis Chapman

What This World Needs                                    Casting Crowns

Matthew’s Song                                                 Chasing Canaan

Jesus, Friend of Sinners                                   Casting Crowns

So Far to Find You                                           Casting Crowns

You Gave Me Love                                           B.J. Thomas

The Business of Love                                       Charlie Daniels

How Deep the Father’s Love for Us                     Nichole Nordeman

Love Song for a King                                         Caleb Rowden

As the Deer                                                      Adore

Here Is Love                                                     Matt Redman

O Love That Will Not Let Me Go                        Chris Rice